weddingsv make me drug and hornr
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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