i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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