Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
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you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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