he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
