Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You're like the curious george of whores
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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