You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I lost the right to judge tonight
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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