Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
