This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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