Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
