Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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