I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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