Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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