Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
