my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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