i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
