Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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