Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize