Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
