How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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