that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize