becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize