I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
