This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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