I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
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I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
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Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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