So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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