I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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