You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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