Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
