You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We had sex on a dog bed..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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