Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
FUCK WHALES
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
