It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
