that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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