I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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