I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
