its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
