3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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