im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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