i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
