I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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