He is an equal opportunity slut.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
