i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
