You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
