You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
