I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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