When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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