I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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