just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
