Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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