4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
