Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's Friday. Sex?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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