I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
