I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm always down for nudity.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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