My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
