Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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