is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
