miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
