I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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