he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize