sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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