im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
