Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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