Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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